Talking Shit

It's been more than a month since I quit my job and a week already since I moved to Stockholm. While the prospect of doing nothing the whole day is appealing, having nothing to do for days on end lessens the attraction of being a bum. I've always had a job. Even before I graduated from college, I already started working. Thus, spending days lazing around the house trying to find some new chore to try gets a bit old after three days.

My last job was concentrated on writing content for a comedy website as well as writing stuff for their partner websites. There were a lot of fun if not interesting tasks, but all these writing tasks are dominated by one topic: colon cleansing. As a writer/SEO/editorial coordinator/marketing assistant of said client, I had to handle their partner's blog, contents of which focused on ways old and new to dislodge particles from one's colon. So to speak, I've dealt with shit for a good three years of my career. In a heartbeat, I could tell how to clean your colon, which foods are colon-friendly, and basically say a lot of bullshit about how colon cleansing could help you get healthy and lose weight.



With that assignment, I started getting paranoid about my daily toilet habits. Indeed, with a wide understanding of poo color and consistency, I unwillingly formed a habit of observing my own poo. For the life of me, I cannot CANNOT do number 2 in a public place (doing number two in public is a skill, I believe and view with admiration and longing). For me to do my business, things have to be just right and the planets need to be properly aligned. I need to hear running water while doing my business and it has to be completely silent. Once someone's talking outside the toilet, my poo just shies away and burrows itself, just like what happens when I warn people about the dangers of impacted feces.
Hopefully, I would lose the habit of over analyzing shit. Maybe one day, I will poo my heart out without caring if there is a conference happening just outside my comfort room. And maybe, maybe, my next job won't mean I have to deal with shit or any kind of excrement.